“My schedule is full of commitments, but it’s empty of purpose – of something that drives me. But now I got tired of living through automatic actions and decided to become somebody I can trully be proud of. I just need to know where to start”. If you are the key player of that story, know that there are several ways to start, but first you should remember some truths. Travis Bradberry, expert in emotional intelligence, made a list for you to keep it handy when things aren’t going as expected. And here are some of the essential tips related to your professional life that you can follow to make your career planning the best:
1. Being busy doesn’t equal being productive
What do you see when you look at the people around you? They are stressed, running from meeting to meeting, struggling to deal with too many demands. If this is your reality, believe me: no one has been productive. Productivity is having more free time than others and being able to do things that you never could because, instead of a frantic movement, you had your actions planned and a good amount of focus. You have the same 24 hours everyone has but you can use them to develop your career planning or let them become your future remorse.
2. Great achievements usually come after great failures
You won’t recognize true success until you learn to accept true failure. How to know if you are on the right way if you never took the wrong one? Your failures build your path and you go over it to the glory. Laugh more at yourself. According to Travis Bradberry, people with high emotional intelligence can laugh at themselves and learned to say “no”, even to themselves, in order to move on and try another time, again and again.
3. Fear is the main source of regret
You are likely to regret most the chances you missed than the mistakes you made trying something new. Travis Bradberry tells us he often heard people say the worst thing that could happen to them was death. However, death is not the worst thing that can happen to you – and no, it’s not public speaking – but, as Albert Schweitzer said, the greatest human tragedy is what dies inside a man, while he is still alive.
4. Your self-worth shouldn’t rely on others
If you tend to feel proud of yourself only when compared to other people, you have been losing your ability to feel at peace. Travis believes that you can’t allow the opinion or the achievement of anyone to make you feel not good enough about something you did. Although it’s impossible to separate your reactions from others’ opinions – after all, we search for recognition and belonging to some group – you always can distrust them. “There’s something I’ve learned about self-worth,” Travis concludes, “you’re never as good or bad as they say you are”.
5. You’re as good as those you associate with
One of the things that most pleases an emotionally intelligent person is to be surrounded by people who make them want to be greater. If you also feel that way, great sign! However, what about people who make you feel down? Why are they still part of your life? Those who make you feel useless, anxious or uninspired tends to make you one of them. Therefore, be careful and think well if that altruism of you is really taking you and the other person somewhere better.
6. Don’t expect an apology to forgive
Life is much more worthwhile when you forget your grudges and forgive those who never had the courage – or felt the need – to apology. After all, holding onto anger ruins your happiness and, as the writer and politician Malachy McCourt wrote, is just like drinking poison and expecting another person to die. When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you have agreed with his attitude but simply ceased to be his eternal victim.
7. The present is a present
No guilt can change your past and no anxiety can change your future. We are able to be happy being mentally elsewhere but the comeback to the present may be too painful. The great writer Mark Twain once said – “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” In addition, you tend to fail again and again while ignoring the change and doing the same things you’ve always done. Even if everything around you changes, things can go well in your life. The present will always be a present: you can always gain something. Think about it.
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