Pablo Picasso once wrote: “There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into sun”. In other words, your judgment about the life comes from your own eyes. But where should I stare at when I have to judge myself? Self-criticism, as well as criticism, demands lucidity and kindness. If too hard, it paralyses you. If rare, you become a wasted chances-collector.
We are too familiarized with our own image, our face, our words, and immediate criticism. Though, if you want to understand yourself, more than just see and speak, observe how the others behave, fail and succeed.
1. Mirror against mirror
What happens when a mirror faces another one? Reflections tend to infinity. That’s what comes when we decide to be self-critical. What we reflect is both what is in front of us and what is behind of us. Our judgment tend to get confused between we already think of ourselves and we still can think, but we don’t think yet. Now that we know how manifold our image is, comes the next step: how to make a self-criticism.
2. A sandwich
A compliment + A criticism + A compliment. With only 3 parts you can make the most intelligent and promising criticism about yourself or about anyone you take into consideration. Being able to criticize yourself is seeing flaws and imperfections which are not so importants and don’t deserve so much attention. Unrestricted and unthinking criticism tends to be taken by those who have limiting beliefs about many aspects of life. Being able to read yourself through pros and cons truly is a strategy which can be improved with training.
3. An exercise
a) Read the example and make your own
- Situation: Louis got the “employee of the month” prize, and he (as usual) went on about how he’s better than me.
- Self-critical thoughts: He’s right, I’m a loser. I’m no good at working or anything.
- Consequences (feelings and behaviors): I feel angry with myself and want to withdraw from the world. All I can do is think about how bad I am at it, which makes me feel worse and work worse.
- Rational response: Louis had been working since two years in the company. I got the job three months ago So, it makes sense that he knows the process better than me. But that does not mean that I’m a loser. I will get better the more I get involved into my job. And, even if I never get so productive than he, I can still learn a lot. Also, there is much more to my life than working. For example, I’m very good cooker.
So, if being self-critical is a struggle for you, this is worth trying. By repeatedly completing this exercise, people are often able to change their thinking and get the ability to make it naturally. b) Criticize behaviors, not attributes Behaviors I can change, attributes I cannot. Thinking “I’m not an intelligent person, I have no talent” will give you but sadness and no resolution. And sadness, take care, is an addiction. Reason assertively instead: “I stayed up too late watching TV when I could have been sleeping. Next time I could set a TV limit for myself.” Do you realize how you feel better? Not in vain: contrary to what you thought, you’re proving your intelligence, by fulfilling a sensible and honest criticism. c) Focus on context Take that TV example above. Why did I stay up when I should have been sleeping or even studying for my new project on the company? If my friends were breaking out the popcorn and pushing for a viewing marathon, actually only the staunchest worker would be able to resist. What’s the point? Understanding your weaknesses and your triggers can help you keep yourself out of the temptation and avoid situations that end in behavior or outcomes you’re less than proud of. “Awareness of the power of situational factors like peer pressure can really help us make better decisions. If we believe we’re invulnerable to external pressures, we are more likely to be blindsided by them.” writes Juliana Breines, in the article “Four Ways to Constructively Criticize Yourself” Constructive self-criticism is a powerful tool for your professional success. Meet Runrun.it and evaluate your own performance, the performance of your employees, and make your company more productive. Free trial: http://runrun.it Você também pode gostar de ler:
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